DON'T LIE! Even the smallest things matter.

Take this story for instance…
Why White Lies Count
In a Women's Health survey of nearly 600 women, 70 percent said that they lie to their significant other at least some of the time. So when my friend Sarah said she never tells tall tales to her honey, I rolled my eyes and pressed her to confess. She finally admitted that though she'd never lie about anything important, a few weeks ago she'd told him she spent an afternoon at the gym when in reality she was at a cafe flipping through magazines and eating Rice Krispie treats. "I had sworn that I was going to start exercising again and was too embarrassed to admit I'd wimped out," she explained. Those little lies tend to roll right off the tongue, but they're more important than you might think. The motivation behind them is based on a fundamental misunderstanding about love. It all goes back to mom and dad: "When your parents asked if you had a good day at school or if you put away your toys, if you answered anything other than 'yes,' they were upset," says Elayne Savage, Ph.D., author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. "By punishing the wrong answer, they inadvertently taught you to say whatever would make them happy." As a result, the knee-jerk response to people whose approval we crave is to give them the "right" answer instead of the real one. Bad idea. "Real intimacy requires mutual understanding that includes knowing and accepting each other's flaws, quirks, and weaknesses," Dr. Savage says. If you want to grow closer to someone, you have to get into the habit of exposing yourself instead of always trying to present the "perfect" you. Another very good reason to avoid casual bending of the truth is to preserve your overall credibility. If a friend had happened to see Sarah through the cafe window and mentioned it to her husband, it would have made him wonder what other lies she might be telling.


By Nicole Beland, Women's Health